Be at Peace and Grow

Several months ago, a person in our church asked me how they could be part of the “in crowd” at church. Those weren’t the exact words used, but that was the basic meaning. They felt like they were not living up to some expectations and wanted to know what expectations our church had. I’d like to explore this idea with you this month, in case you might be wondering the same, or if someone asks you a similar question.
First, as far as I’m concerned, there are no set expectations, except that I do expect Christ's followers to do their best to love God and their neighbors. I expect people to be who they are, and as long as they try to follow Jesus more closely, it’s fine with me if they don’t fit a certain pattern.

That said, I have found a general pattern that seems to work for most people: Regular attendance (and that can vary) helps, not just so that people can get to know you or so that you can cross something off your list, but so that you can feel comfortable and find something that interests you, whether it’s a ministry, a small group, or an interest you want to explore. Regular attendance also means that the people who currently lead can get to know you and offer opportunities for you to serve and be served.

Second, being part of a group, whether that’s Sunday school, a Bible study, the choir, band, a more social group like the Fellowships of Circumstance, a ministry such as the Food Pantry, or something like the Yoga group, Karate, Scouts, or AA. Being part of a smaller group will help you get the personal connections that make your life meaningful, and often the help that leads people to make breakthroughs. I grew up in a very large church, and I didn’t ever think I could know all the people, but I never felt left out because I knew my Sunday School, youth group, and children’s choir folks. No one needs to become an extreme extrovert, unless that is who God made them to become, but we all benefit by meaningful connections. Loneliness is a very real and very damaging effect of modern life – small groups do a world of good to banish loneliness.

Finally, giving is also very important. I don’t mean just financial giving but also giving of our time and talents. Each member of the body of Christ has something to give, something to offer, and something to learn and share (see 1 Corinthians 12 for more about the body of Christ). When we offer our time and talents, it will not always be easy or even received well by others, but it is how we grow. When we combine giving with regular attendance and a small group, we have the nurture, the friendships, and the challenges that help us become who we need to become.

Of course, different times in our lives will mean different things – caring for loved ones, working long hours, health challenges, and so forth will change what attendance, small groups, and giving looks like, and that is to be expected. I do not expect someone who is a caregiver for another to do heroic deeds at church – their caregiving is their ministry for the season, so church will be more about getting the nurture and friendship they need. I do not expect someone living at the edge of poverty or with strained finances to empty their purse or pocketbook, either. At the same time, someone who has free time and free talents will be well served by offering them to bless others.

The key is – are we trying to follow Jesus more closely, shaping our minds, time, and talents to where the Holy Spirit leads? And by the way, some of those times when we feel like we are not growing, can be the times when we are growing the most. Frustrations and roadblocks can lead to fulfillment and breakthroughs – there is no single way to grow! The key is to keep trying.

One of the blessings of following Jesus is knowing, deep in our bones, that not only will he never leave or forsake us, but he is always in the process of transforming us – so our best days are always ahead of us! Sure, they will not look like the best days of the past, but they will be the best days of our present, and particularly our future.

It's my honor to serve alongside you!